Family mediation

Premier At The Romney Centre provides, one or two person mediation teams, working in a comfortable informal setting, close to the city centre.

Family mediation helps people involved in a family breakdown to reach their own decisions about their arrangements for the future. It is usually better if you can both sort out issues arising from separation or divorce, like children, property and finance.

Mediation is about directly negotiating your own decisions on these arrangements together, with the help of a third party. The aim is to help you find a solution that meets the needs of everyone involved, a solution that everyone can live with. It is an alternative to solicitors negotiating for you or having decisions made for you by the courts.

Mediation can help to reduce tension, anger and misunderstandings, and improve communication between you and your partner. This is especially important if you have children, because you will probably have to co-operate over their care and upbringing. However you can use mediation whether or not you are married and whether or not you have children.

TOP

Entering mediation is always voluntary, however, for mediation to be effective, you both need to take part, and neither of you should feel threatened or pressured by the other. Mediators make sure that mediation discussions are fair, and that you and your partner feel safe. So the mediator will check with each of you separately before and during mediation to see whether there is any problem of violence or abuse. If you decide to use mediation but do not want your partner to know your address or phone number, you can tell the mediator. You can also ask for separate waiting areas when you come to mediation discussions.

It is important that you are prepared to share information about your situation with each other. Mediators do not act for just you or your partner. They are trained to act impartially, and manage the process, helping you to exchange information, ideas and feelings constructively and ensuring that you make informed decisions.

You can use mediation at any stage you feel it would help, whether you are still living together, living separately, or already divorced. You can use mediation whether or not you have been to a solicitor, and whether or not you have started court proceedings

If you need to sort out arrangements for your children, the mediator can help you decide what is best for them, and how and what you should tell them. The mediator will encourage you to concentrate on your children’s needs, and take into account their feelings and what they want when you are making arrangements for their future.

TOP

If you need to sort out financial arrangements, the mediator will ask you to fill in a form giving full details of what you earn, what you need to spend your money on, your assets and property, and pension arrangements. It also covers issues around loans or other debts; and any other important information.

If you do not give correct and complete information to the mediator, a court could overturn any agreement you make. The mediator has no power to impose a settlement - responsibility for all decisions remains with yourselves since you know better than anyone else what is right for your family. The mediator will not advise you about the best option either for your children or your financial affairs, nor can the mediator protect your individual interest.

At the end of mediation the mediator will prepare a written summary of the proposals you have reached. This is not a legally binding document and you may need legal advice about it especially if you have reached agreement on financial and property issues.

Research conducted by The Joseph Rowntree Foundation with Newcastle University identified that three years later couples felt that mediation had helped them to end the marital relationship amicably, reduce conflict, maintain good relationships with their ex partners, and carry less bitterness and resentment into their separate lives. They were also more content with existing child care arrangements and less likely to have disagreement about child contact. The couples surveyed for the report felt that they had been able to reach agreements that had survived the test of time and they were glad they had used mediation.

TOP